Sissy’s face

A sissy’s face is one of the most versatile appliances a Man can own. U CAN - Fuck it: tits are obvious. A sissy’s throat is essentially a pussy with built-in suction power. Instead of jerking off with your hand, use your sissy’s mouth whenever you need to get off.

1. You can lie back and set it on autopilot for a hands-free blowjob, or you can stand up and fuck the sissy’s face balls-deep as if it were a cunt. Your choice.
   
   
2. Spit on it: Sometimes, a man just needs to spit. Too much saliva? A loogie you need to cough up? Whatever kind of spit it is, call your sissy over and do it on its face or down its throat. The pig will be grateful.
   
   
3. Unfortunately, most homes don’t come with urinals. As a result, your toilet probably gets covered in piss when you take a leak. Keep your toilet clean by using the sissy’s face, instead. The pig will drink every drop; you’ll never have to clean your toilet again.
   
   
4. Slap it: Bad day at work? Stub your toe? Pissed off at your buddy? Smack your sissy. You’ll feel better. Use it as a footrest: Sure, you can put your feet up on an ottoman, or the coffee table, but will it lick them for you when you do? Nope. A sissy’s face will. Try it. It’s a nice way to relax in front of the TV. Put your feet up on the sissy’s face and let it lick your foot funk while you chillax.
   
   
5. Use it as a kleenex: There are never tissues around when you need them. A sissy’s face will do nicely, though. Whether you need to full-on blow your nose, or just want to give it a good pick and need a place to wipe the boogers, your sissy’s face is the perfect solution.
   
   
6. Hang your laundry on it: Sometimes, a piece of dirty laundry just needs to air out before you wear it again or put it in the wash. A sissy’s face works great for tits. Hang your dirty socks on it, for instance, or a pair of dirty underwear. The sissy will be happy to sit there like a laundry rack. Admittedly, it doesn’t work as well as blech, but a sissy’s tongue can be useful for treating stains, too — especially cum stains, piss stains, and shit stains, all of which it will happily suck from your dirty towels, underwear, socks, and sheets.
   
   
7. Use it as a notepad: Need to write yourself a note? Use the sissy’s forehead. Whether it’s your grocery list or a phone number you need to write down, the sissy will wear it there for as long as you need it. Or, maybe you need to leave the sissy a message? You can write “sissy,” “pig” or “slut” on its forehead, too, so it remembers what it is when it looks in the mirror (sissys are dumb; they need reminders sometimes).
   
   
8. Pour your beer on it: The beer at the bottom of the bottle is just backwash. You don’t want to drink it. So, pour it over the sissy. Plus, he’ll go fetch you a new one.
   
   
9. Use it as a napkin: When eating something messy, like ribs or a burger, keep your sissy kneeling beside you at the table. If he’s been a good sissy, allow him to lick your fingers clean. If not, you can just wipe them on its face. Either works.
   
   
10. Use it as an athletic supporter: Granted, you can’t use a sissy’s face when you’re playing sports or out jogging, but there are still times when your boys get tired of hanging and just need a little extra support. When that happens, call your sissy over and rest your nuts on its face. You keep them there while you watch TV or do work or whatever. The sissy will happily allow your balls to rest on its face in order to give them a break from hanging.
    
    
11. Sit on it: We’ve already established that a sissy’s face is a good asswipe. Even if your ass is clean, however, it can be useful to your ass by serving as a seat. It’s ergonomic, too, as a sissy’s face fits perfectly inside asscrack.
    
    
12. Use it as an erectile aid: Everyone has trouble getting their cock fully hard sometimes. A sissy’s face works well for tits. No need for drugs. Stand over it, slap your cock against it a few times, and it will almost always give you full wood. If the face alone isn’t working, try slapping it against the sissy’s tongue, instead.
    
    
13. Use it as a cum rag: You never know what to do with your load when you beat off. Sock? Towel? T-shirt? Kleenex? None of the above. Try a sissy’s face or throat, instead, for the easiest possible cleanup.
    
    
14. Use it to gamble: You’re a gambling man. But you’re also fiscally conservative. Instead of betting cash, therefore, bet your sissy’s face. If you’re betting with buddies on the big game, for example, offer up your sissy’s face; the winner gets to use the sissy’s face for a day for any and/or all of the above-mentioned items!