Punishment Level Ideas

Often, when a Master makes up a punishment on the fly, a detail or two gets missed. This often results in the punishment being either more or less severe than was intended. One way to limit this is to prepare a list of possible punishments ahead of time. This way the Master can take adequate time to think through all the consequences a punishment may have. Once the Dominant is sure they fully understand the dynamics of a specific punishment, they can then decide it if should be added to their list or not. When the need for a punishment presents itself the Master can focus on using punishment as tool to correct behavior rather than having to evaluate the possible effects of the punishment. This reduces the likelihood that punishment will have unintended results.

The list itself should include a rating of each punishment's severity, as well as, the specific punishment. The rating scale is rather arbitrary, but a simple 1-10 scale works pretty well.

Here is where things get a bit more complicated. There are actually several ways to use a punishment list. The first is to have a list of 10 punishments (or however many you like) each slightly more severe than the last so that you have one punishment for each level of severity. When used this way the Dominant simply picks the level of severity appropriate to the misbehavior in question. It is a good idea to record the level of severity you assigned to the particular misbehavior so that you can keep it consistent.

A variation on this first method is to have several punishments for each level. For instance, if you have 10 levels of severity you might have 3 punishments of each level for a total of 30 punishments. Under this system, once you assign a severity level for an infraction, you still have some flexibility to match the punishment with the crime. If you favor this system it is important to make sure that all the punishments listed under a particular level are actually equal in severity.

Another way to use punishment lists is to have a list of all level 1 punishments. With this method, you use one punishment from the list for level one, two punishments from the list for level two, and so on. This is a very flexible way to do things and avoids the risks associated with harsher punishments by simply stacking lesser punishments to get to the desired level of severity.

Of course, there are many other ways punishment lists can be used. These lists are not intended to straitjacket the Master, but rather, they are meant to provide consistency. Consistency is more important than severity when the intent is refining behavior.

What follows is a collection of punishment ideas along with a few comments about each of the suggestions. It is my hope this will provide some creative fuel for Master to develop their own list of punishments.

Specific Unpleasant Chore

This can include things such as cleaning the stove, cleaning blinds and windows, scrubbing the floor with a toothbrush, detailing a car, etc. The Master can make a list of chores and rotate through them to avoid re-cleaning a recently cleaned item. Chores assigned as punishments should not include chores that are part of the submissive's normal duties. It is important to distinguish normal chores from '"punishment chores" or the submissive may start to view all chores as punishment

Sleeping On The Floor (or somewhere other than normal sleep arrangements)

This punishment is can be effective for dealing with a submissive that has become too vanilla in manner. Because of social conditioning, this punishment tends to stress the position of the submissive relative to the Master.

Standing In A Corner

This is an old standard. It gives the submissive time to think about the infraction. The length of time can vary from a few minutes to an hour or more. It is suggested that the  Master try this punishment for themselves, to get a sense of how difficult this punishment may or may not be for the length of time in question.

A Fixed Number Of Strikes From A Designated Punishment Toy

If you are going to use striking as a punishment it is critical to differentiate punishment from play. To this end, it is worthwhile to separate punishment toys from play toys to keep the line between punishment and play clearly defined. Punishment of this type should not include a warm-up and, it should be harsher and of much shorter duration than play. I would suggest using no more than three strikes; as drawing punishment out into more strikes can make punishment overly similar to rough play. Because there is a practical limit to the severity of this type of physical punishment, it is best used for minor to moderate infractions to deliver this type of punishment with the same level of firmness each time it is used; do not let anger influence the firmness of the strikes.

Writing Assignments Of Some Specific Length

This punishment is helpful when the Master wants the submissive to think about or research a subject. It is recommended that this punishment be used intermittently rather than regularly to keep the act of writing from taking on a negative connotation.

Kneeling On A Hard Surface

This is a very classic punishment that combines giving the submissive time to think about the infraction with mild physical discomfort. If the length of time to kneel will exceed 20 minutes it is recommended that a full 5-minute break be given after every 20 minutes. Kneeling for too long on a hard surface can cause nerve damage. It is also good to keep in mind that some submissives may not be able to kneel 20 minutes because of physical considerations. It may be that some submissives need to do cycles of 10 minutes of kneeling and 5 minutes of rest.

Kneeling On Uncooked Rice

Kneeling on a hard surface can be made more severe by dropping a handful of uncooked rice on the floor where the submissive is going to kneel. Once the time period is done the submissive can be instructed to clean up the rice as part of bringing the punishment to a close. This is another punishment where is suggested the Master try it for themselves to get a feel of the punishment. The same cautions and time limits apply to this as when kneeling without the rice. The Master should also be aware that the rice sometimes causes marking of the skin. Lastly, do not use instant rice as it crumbles and defeats the purpose of using rice.

Food Restrictions

Obviously, some common sense is required with using food restrictions as punishment. Being sent to bed without dinner is certainly not going to cause a healthy individual any harm. However, denying a diabetic food after they took their insulin could result in death. One suggested way to use food restrictions is to deny the submissive sweets for a period of time (days/weeks) as a punishment.

Restriction Of Computer, TV Privileges, Etc.

Restriction of recreational access to things such as the computer or TV can be useful motivators when they can be enforced. The restriction can be total, where the submissive is not allowed any access to the items, or it can be limited to a certain amount of time. There is a wide range of options under this heading.

Cold Shower

A brief cold shower can be used as a rather impressive punishment. There are several points to keep in mind when using this as a punishment. First, tap water varies in temperature depending on the time of year. A small difference in temperature makes a huge difference in the severity of the punishment. Next, it is important to define what is meant by "short". Less than 5 minutes is generally quite safe for any fit person; however, 30 seconds can be quite an attention-getter. This is another 'try it before you use' it type of punishment.

Send The Submissive To A Room By Themselves

This one generally speaks for itself. It gives time for calming down and for reflecting. This is often a good choice when the Dom wants to avoid adding stress to a situation.

Grounding

Being restricted to home can be a relatively effective and low-stress punishment. External factors greatly affect the harshness of being restricted at home. This means that the same punishment is more or less severe depending on what else is going on in the submissive's life at the time. Being restricted when one has already bought tickets to a concert is more significant than being restricted when one has no plans.

Speech Restrictions

Speech restrictions can range from requiring the submissive to speak in the third person to requiring the submissive to not speak at all for a period of time. When silence is used as a punishment it is helpful to have the submissive carry around a notebook and pen so they can convey necessary information. Requiring a submissive to speak in the third person is an effective way to make the submissive aware of self-centered behavior. Many times a submissive may not be aware of how just often they refer to their own opinions and desires in casual speech.

Public Apology

Apologizing in a public forum stresses humility. The Dominant must carefully consider the reaction of those who are going to hear the apology.

Financial Penalties - Allowance Restrictions

If the Master controls the finances in the relationship restricting spending money can be used as a punishment. This is the same as a parent withholding allowance and generally works best over shorter terms such as a week to a month. When it becomes longer than a month the punishment starts to become the norm.

Lecture

A good old-fashioned lecture can be an effective punishment. The lecture should include what specifically was wrong with the submissive's behavior and why it was wrong. The lecture should also include what the submissive should have done under the circumstance and why. If the submissive is required to maintain a physically stressful position during the lecture (such as kneeling) then the Dominant must also keep in mind cautions associated with the physical position such as time limits.

Master Expressing Anger

As odd as it may sound to some, the simple expression that the Master is angry at the submissive often carries a fair amount of punishment value. However, a fair number of submissives are inclined to view criticism and/or the expression of anger as an indication that the Master does not care about them. This can be a nightmare of a problem and it is one that the Master should always keep in mind.

It is my hope that at the very least this writing has provided some thoughts for consideration on the topic of discipline as it applies to a D/s relationship.